anxiety. 1

Anxiety feels like fear, when there's nothing to be scared off. Feels like you need to throw up when there's nothing making you feel sick. The feeling like you can’t control your breath, like every breath you take is getting shorter. Like the air is running out. You can hear your heart beating and feel your hands sweating. Feels like you're stuck inside your own head and can’t escape

 the feeling of feeling like something bad is going to happen.

 Every ambulance, every police car you hear, you wonder if it’s someone you love, when you can feel an anxiety attack come you can’t concentrate on what people are saying, because you’re trying so hard to focus on making it stop, when someone is talking to you, your staring at them in the face, but have no idea what they just said, because all you can hear is a blur of their words and your heartbeat. Your breath. 

You feel like you can’t escape, you’re trapped in this world of fear and anxiety. It seems like it will never end. The world feels frozen and your future becomes non existent, but only for a moment. 

Once the attack is over, you feel drained and you still feel sick. You spend hours searching the web for solution, but there isn't one that is easy and fast. You concentrate on the noise around you, trying to ignore this, because in your head you keep repeating “it’s only anxiety, it will go” meanwhile trying to keep a steady breath. Trying not to take a deep breath because if you do you're scared someone will ask “whats wrong” and how are you supposed to explain you can’t really breath and your hands are sweaty, your heart is beating faster….FOR NO GOOD REASON.

-smct